A place at the table…?

“For everyone born, a place at the table…”

That’s the first line of a hymn that I love…and that I also struggle with. It’s a wonderful goal–but how do we make it true for everyone?

I realize that I can sing it fairly easily because I have never had to deal with the aftermath of sexual assault or other forms of violence. That’s my privilege. But because I have that privilege, I also have a responsibility to be aware of others who are not as fortunate.

How do we make the table a safe place for someone who was sexually abused–and who often finds themselves sitting with their abuser? Are we prioritizing the comfort of the abuser over that of their victim(s)? What about those who have been victims of violence?

I realize that sometimes situations are not black and white. Not all people on the sexual predator list are dangerous (and please note, I am not ignoring the fact that many are). Some men find themselves on that last because when they were 18 or 19, they had sex with their 15- or 16-year old girlfriend–which could result in a charge of statutory rape. Others may have been involved in a nasty divorce with “he said / she said” issues. Are we comfortable allowing them a place at the table?

Yes, there are situations where those who have been abusers (whatever form that abuse has taken) have changed. But that doesn’t change the impact that their actions had on the individuals they abused.

Far too often, it seems that we expect an abused individual to “be the bigger person”…to forgive and forget. But that doesn’t make the table a safe place for them–and I don’t think that’s what the goal of this hymn is.

I do want to have a table where all are welcome. I don’t want to have to remove anyone. But neither do I want individuals to feel unsafe and unwelcome because of who I might ask them to sit with.

There are so many questions. Do I need more than one table? Do I insist that everyone has the right to sit wherever they want, regardless of their past behaviors? Do I believe that “forgiveness” resolves all issues and the past should be forgotten?

So I sing this hymn…and I struggle.

Unity in diversity

My faith tradition has several enduring principles…short statements that try to catch up in a nutshell what our focus should be as we attempt to live out our faith.

One of those principles is unity in diversity. That’s been a challenging one for many who wonder how there can be unity if we accept diversity in various forms. This is especially true when there are widely divergent views on some issues based on culture and geography.

I thought of that this morning when I read the morning sharing from Steven Charleston on Facebook. For those who may not be familiar with him, he is an Native American elder and a retired Episcopal bishop. Each morning he spends time in meditation and shares the thoughts that come to him in a way that allows people from a variety of traditions to find meaning in them.

This was what he shared this morning:

We are one in heart and many in mind. Spiritual unity is possible when people do not have to agree with one another to love one another. Our kindness, compassion and support come from the heart as we live together in peace. At the same time, our ideas, visions and opinions may vary widely as we continue our creative work together for the common good. We are one in heart and many in mind.

We don’t have to think alike. We don’t have to act alike. We don’t even have to believe alike to have unity if we truly love one another.

Since I am a follower of Jesus, that is where my perspective comes from…and I believe that was the focus of Jesus’ response when he was asked what the greatest commandment was. He said that the greatest one was to love God with all our being, but he didn’t stop there. He went on to say that the second one was similar–to love our fellow human beings as we love ourselves.

We can delight in our diversity…and at the same time we can also live in unity. It’s not necessarily going to be easy–but it’s the only way.

What does it really mean to be pro-life?

Over the next few months, I’m sure we’re going to be hearing a lot about pro-life, pro-choice, and everything in between.

I know everyone has their own take on what those terms mean, but today I want to share what I believe it means to be truly pro-life. This list is not in any order and it is certainly not comprehensive…but these are all factors I believe should be included in a pro-life stance.

It means making sure that all people have access to affordable and adequate medical care–especially, but not limited to, pregnant individuals and their babies.

It means ensuring affordable and adequate medical care after birth for parents and children.

It means employees are paid living wages so that they can provide for their families.

It involves working with underserved communities to help them have access to fresh foods and vegetables so that they can rely less on heavily processed food. That includes teaching them how to use those fruits and vegetables.

It includes comprehensive sex ed–not just abstinence-focused coercive programs. Abstinence is one aspect of sex ed, but it is not the only one.

It means helping women have access to a variety of birth control methods, based on decisions made by them in conjunction with their partner and their doctor.

It means giving doctors the tools they need to meet the medical needs of their pregnant patients–not interfering with the care they need to provide. That includes allowing doctors to perform abortions when needed without having to worry about losing their licenses and / or going to jail.

It includes paid family leave so that new parents can spend important time with their baby after birth, bonding with them and learning how to live together as a new family.

It means that mental health care is also considered an essential component of medical care.

It means caring for the whole person–before birth and after birth.

Unfortunately, far too often it seems that people who loudly proclaim they are pro-life are only pro-life before birth. After birth, it’s hands-off…and good luck! They are also often strong advocates of capital punishment…a position that seems at odds with their staunch and loud voices demanding protection for a fetus before it is born.

So let’s have some honest discussions about what pro-life really means. Yes, there are going to be differing opinions, but if we really want to create a pro-life society, then we need to work together to figure out how to help families deal with life once it has been born, not just before.

What century am I in?

Sometimes I feel like I’m no longer living in the 21st century!

I grew up believing that scientists were people who studied our world to find out more about it and to help us live wisely in it.

I grew up believing that libraries were important parts of our communities…places where we could go to learn and to expand our minds.

I grew up believing that the goal of education was to help us learn how to think creatively and expansively…to not put ourselves in little boxes.

I grew up believing that the purpose of religion was to help us believe in something bigger than ourselves, regardless of whether we named it Divine Love, God, Allah, or something else. And I also believed that the main tenet of religion was to love God and each other with all our being.

But now?

I hear people saying that scientists can’t be believed…that they are just looking for things that “prove” what they already believe.

Libraries and librarians are being attacked for having books that some person may not agree with or may not want their child to read. Instead of being seen as people and places that can help us grow, they are seen by far too many as some kind of “evil” places and people.

Education has forced teachers to often “teach to the test” instead of helping children learn how to think. And educators are also under attack when exposing students to ideas they may not have thought of.

And instead of encouraging us to love others, far too often religion is now being used to demand adherence to a specific way of understanding God while demonizing any other understanding.

It feels like I’m living in a world that is going backwards…back to a time when men wanted women to be kept barefoot and pregnant…when we refused to acknowledge diversity–of race, gender, sexuality…when science and religion were enemies…when education was limited to the few “elites” and was used to support a specific world view…when superstition held sway.

I don’t want to live in that world! And so I’m going to continue to advocate for a world that allows–and encourages–each of us to live to our full potential…a world that understands that there is much we do not yet comprehend about our planet…a world in which we willingly share with each other so that none are left hungry or unhoused or fearful of violence.

Enough is enough!

I have supported–and will continue to support–Israel’s right to exist without fear of constant attacks.

However, I cannot support the current Israeli government and their actions towards the Palestinian people in Gaza.

Have Netanyahu and his supporters forgotten their own history? of how in many places in the 20th century Jews were herded into smaller and smaller enclaves? deprived of medical care and food? killed without caring if they were men, women, or children? Have they forgotten how Jews were considered “subhuman”?

It is appalling to see so many of those same tactics now being used by the Israeli government towards the people of Gaza.

It is appalling to see the callous disregard for the lives of the innocents who are caught in the crossfire.

It is appalling to see the refusal to allow humanitarian aid to reach those in desperate need–and aid workers killed, despite having coordinated with the Israeli forces to be in “safe” zones.

It is appalling to see the heartbreak of parents trying desperately to keep their children alive and safe.

And I am appalled that in light of all of this, my government is still considering selling more fighter jets to Israel.

I understand that this sale is part of a longstanding commitment to Israel’s security…that there are other entities in the area that continue to vow the destruction of Israel. And I understand that many of these sales were approved years before this current conflict.

But I also believe that it is time–past time–to call the Israeli government to accountability.

It is time–past time–to say “Enough is enough!”