Obsessiveness and weight…

I’ve often wondered what starts young women down the road of bulimia or anexoria. Can they not see the harm they are doing to themselves?

I know there are a lot of factors involved in those diseases–but in the last few weeks I’ve begun to realize how easy it would be to get sucked into that situation…

I’ve been working out with both the WiiFit and EA SportsActive software, alternating between the active workout with the SportsActive software and the balance games and yoga with WiiFit. Both programs have ways of tracking your progress; since I started with WiiFit, I’ve kept my exercise record there. (Next time I start the 30-day challenge with EA, I may do more there, but this is my first time through that program.)

The WiiFit allows me to record the amount of time I’ve spent with their workouts as well as entering “activity credits” for exercise I’ve done in other ways. It also–through its “body test” allows me to check my standing┬ácenter of balance, weight/BMI, and agility/balance. The first and last of these tests are fun and interesting…

But…I’ve discovered that as I check my weight/BMI, it’s easy for that information to become a center of attention. The numbers are staying pretty consistent currently, and I’m okay with that. I feel good where I am–and it’s a healthy weight/BMI.

However, a few weeks ago, as I was focusing on losing a few pounds, I realized I needed to be careful! I was intrigued in watching the line on the graph go down–and found myself thinking, “I wonder how much further down I could get it to go…”. Not good! So I’ve had to intentionally refocus on why I’m checking that information–and to realize that it’s just a tool, not a goal.

My personality, though, tends to have at least some obsessive-compulsive elements in it…and it’s certainly helped me to realize how easy it is to get sucked into situations that could create significant health problems–especially in light of all the emphasis on what it means to be “beautiful” in today’s culture.

I’m not sure what the answer is, except to somehow help people realize that true beauty comes from the inside.

What time would I live in?

I love going to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival every year! Last year I played for the apprentice graduation–and this year I played for the coronation and will again play for the apprentice graduation.

I’ve sometimes thought that I would love to live during that time period. And in many ways, that’s true.

I love the costumes that the members of the royal court wear. But when it’s hot–as it can be in Missouri in August–they can be miserable! (Especially since the costumes that they wear are made to be as authentic as possible!) It takes a long time to get dressed in them–and it’s hard to run and play as I like to… And to be a woman in the court meant walking a very fine line when it came to love and marriage!

The castles are fun to explore–but there was a reason for all the wall hangings–to try to keep the cold out. Fires were nice (and I love a good fire)–but that meant you roasted on one side and froze on the other.

Besides that, not everyone in the medieval period could be a member of the royal court! There were far more people who were peasants. Granted, those costumes would be more bearable in the Missouri heat–but not so comfortable in damp, rainy weather! And those poor folks really had no rights…especially the women.

While it was a time of exploration and inventiveness, it was also a time of the plague, lack of sanitation, short life expectancies, interesting medical issues, not a lot of food…

It’s fun to dream…but I’m just as happy to be living in this time period. It’s so easy to look back and romanticize what I didn’t live through–I wonder how future generations will romanticize the 20th century??

Role Reversal

I love the song from Lion King – “The Circle of Life.”

And yet, I don’t think I’ve really thought through what it means.

Our grandson is now home from his time with his mother. He hasn’t been gone all that long–only a month–and yet I can see so many changes in him. He looks taller (even if he really isn’t!), and while he still has some childish ways, I can see him the beginnings of maturity. I know that this next year, as he moves into middle school, we will undoubtedly alternate between wanting to be a child and wanting to be seen as “grown-up”–and that will be difficult at times. Yet I can rejoice in his part in the circle of life.

Last night, I picked up my mother to take to a special church service–and seeing her part in the circle of life is more difficult. She is beginning to lose some of the “adult-ness” and is becoming more child-like in many ways. This is a difficult time for her, because she is aware of some of those losses and is unsure how to deal with them. At times she weeps because of the difference between who she is now and who she remembers being.

It’s also difficult for me, because part of those losses mean that we have the same conversation several times in the course of a few minutes…her short-term memory is not functioning well. And so I have to remember that when she repeats the same comments–or asks the same questions–she’s not trying to frustrate me. She honestly does not remember that she’s given me that information or asked that question before. Patience has never been a strong virtue of mine…

I’m beginning to understand more a scene that was one of my favorites in Bruce Almighty:

Nobody ever said that the circle of life was easy…and role reversal is part and parcel of it. I could fight against it, but it wouldn’t change anything. And so the best I can do is continue to struggle with living the reality that is, not the reality that I might wish for.