Love

Adventskranz 3. Advent

Today we lit the third candle of Advent–the candle of love.

What is love?

There are many ways to define it. I remember as a child enjoying the Peanuts definition – “Love is a warm puppy.” But is that all there is to it?

English can be a challenging language because many times, we only have one word to identify multiple emotions. That’s true of “love.”

When Prince Charles and Princess Diana held their first news conference so many years ago, when someone asked Charles if he was in love with her, he replied “Whatever in love means.” That did not bode well for their marriage–but there is a lot of truth in his statement.

We love ice cream…if you’re a woman, you may love a particular dress…we love the weather…or a sports team…or our spouse…our children…

Do we really know what love is?

The One whose birth we are preparing for came to show us true love…a love so strong that he was willing to give his life for others. Occasionally we see that in other human beings around us. Unfortunately, far too often we settle for an “easy” definition.

But perhaps the best definition–and the challenge–of living in love can be found in a verse often used during weddings. But it’s a good challenge for each of us as we continue our preparation for celebrating the baby who came 2000 years ago–and whose coming we look forward to now:

What if I could speak all languages of humans and of angels? If I did not love others, I would be nothing more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

What if I gave away all that I owned and let myself be burned alive? I would gain nothing, unless I loved others.

Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude.

Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered.

It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do.

Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.

Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

Love never fails!

 

How do we see?

That question–how do we see?–could be answered in a variety of ways. But it was triggered by a short incident in a book I read…a video I saw…and a picture I saw.

First…in a book titled Wounds Are Where Light Enters, Walter Wangerin, Jr., the author, tells of an incident that involved his adopted African-American son when he was a small child. He was good friends with a neighbor girl, but one day the girl’s mother said that they couldn’t play together any more. Wangerin and his wife thought it was because their son played rougher than his friend did–but that wasn’t the case. It was because he was black. Wangerin, the family’s pastor, went to visit and talk to the mother, who greeted him warmly and then began commiserating about how difficult life was for black children, especially boys…and that she wasn’t surprised they turned to alcohol and crime. Wangerin was nonplussed and asked if she didn’t see that her attitude was one of the things that made it so difficult for them. Why had she cut him off? Her response was simple. “No…black and white don’t marry.”

She didn’t see a little boy who only wanted to play with his friend. She didn’t see a child…she saw color.

Second…a video came up on my Facebook newsfeed about a 66-year-old man who was colorblind. He was given the gift of Enchroma glasses, which allowed him to see color for the first time in his life. It was incredible to watch him see the world in a new way…overwhelming but absolutely joyful.

Image may contain: one or more peopleAnd then third…a picture I saw tonight. I have no words to describe the heartbreak I felt when I saw the picture this little girl who lives in an orphanage drew…a picture of her mother, and then she took off her shoes, and curled up on her mother’s chest.

How do we see? What do we see?

Do we only see what’s on the outside? Or are we willing to look beyond the obvious? to see the inside?

We can put “force fields” around ourselves so that we protect ourselves…because to see the inside requires us to be vulnerable, and that can be frightening. It calls us to be advocates for change…

My faith tradition talks about enduring principles, and some of them call me to see the world differently:

  • Worth of all people
  • Pursuit of peace
  • Unity in diversity
  • Blessings of community

So, how do we see? What do we see?

Are we willing to open our eyes…to see the world in new ways? I hope so.

 

 

“Becoming Nicole”

It’s been quite a while since I reviewed a book on this blog. That’s intentional. I have a big list of books (6-1/2 years worth) that I found worth reading on my site here.

I read so much that I literally ran out of time and energy trying to decide which books to suggest. So why am I suggesting this one?

Over the last several years I’ve become involved with members of the LGBTQ+ community in various ways. I’ve become good friends with some transgender individuals and have come to at least a minimal understanding of what they have gone through in helping their brains and bodies to agree.

But Becoming Nicole is one of the best books I’ve read (as a straight/cis person) to help understand what the journey is like for the whole family.

From the time she was at least 2 years old, Nicole knew that she was different from her identical twin brother. She couldn’t put words to the differences, but she knew they were there. Her parents and brother were supportive of her in her journey, but they also followed different paths. Her mother accepted her from the beginning and, although there wasn’t much information available to her at that time, she searched out what she could find and became a strong advocate for her daughter. Although her father loved and supported her, it took him longer to understand–but once he did, he also became a strong spokesperson for her. Her brother? He somehow simply knew from early on that he had a sister instead of a brother.

Each major section of this book opens with an explanation of the science behind sexual identity and gender identity…what scientists are coming to understand about how they develop and how they may not match. Sometimes trying to read that scientific information is challenging, but this book presents that material in language that a non-scientist can understand without a dictionary at hand!

If you have questions about what it means to be transgender…if you are curious about the journey of the entire family…if you would simply like to know more, then I would strongly suggest Becoming Nicole by Amy Ellis Nutt. It’s not a “preachy” book, simply the story of a family who deeply love and care for their children and the challenges they faced as they helped them to be true to themselves.

Love on four legs

I am a dog person. Always have been, beginning with Lucky, the toy Boston bull terrier we had when I was a kid.

Our most recent dog was Rascal, a schnoodle. We got him when he was about six months old and had him for thirteen years. He died a couple of months ago of heart failure. We knew that was probably coming; we just didn’t expect it so soon.

I knew I wanted another dog. But I was thinking that I would probably wait for another month or so…get through some major activities I have coming up. But…

Some friends who volunteer at a shelter called and said they had a dog that they thought would work. I wanted a small lap dog, and they had one. So we went out to see.  They brought her down the hall to the meet-and-greet room–and she was perfect! She and I immediately bonded, and she came home with us.

Her name at the shelter was Little Girl–but that didn’t seem quite right. So she is now Little Bit, and she is happily making herself at home. The only challenge is that she has staked such a claim on me that she doesn’t want to let another dog around…and we had planned on allowing another dog to join the family for our grandson. But that’s apparently not going to happen–at least for a while!

She is mine–definitely mine! She is excited to see other people, including Charlie and our grandkids…but I am hers!

She’s 3 years old, a terrier mix, and she’s working at figuring out all the newness around.

There are times when you just need love on four legs…love that is unconditional, that claims you regardless of anything else. And so…meet Little Bit!

 

WWJD

WWJD? Remember those wristbands that were popular a few years ago with those letters on them? WWJD?

What would Jesus do?

If you wore that wristband, what did it mean to you? Was it just a nice thought? Or were you wearing it to say “I am the representative of Jesus to those I meet…and so how should I behave so that they see Jesus in me?”

Jesus wasn’t an easy person to follow! He didn’t just go along with the way things were…he challenged the status quo big time! He spent time with the marginalized…those who were considered unclean, who weren’t welcome in the “nice” settings. He wasn’t particularly concerned about keeping the letter of the law; he was more concerned about the spirit of the law being in the heart. He saw all people as being worth God’s love–and he made sure they knew it.

So…

WWJD? What would Jesus do today?

If you are his follower, what are you doing today so that people see Jesus in you? There aren’t easy answers to that question. But it’s an important question to ask.

There’s another question that I think goes along with this…If you were arrested for being a follower of Jesus, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

We’re each going to respond differently to those questions. But for those of us who claim to be followers of this guy who spent his entire life upsetting the way things were, how are we upsetting the status quo in ways that acknowledge the worth of each individual? What would Jesus do? What are we doing?