I’ve been reminded again this week of the power of words…power to wound and power to heal. I’m not going to go into specific examples, because we can each think of those times when we have been deeply wounded by someone’s choice of words and–hopefully–also those times when someone’s words have brought healing.
I don’t believe that most people intentionally to hurt someone else with words. But it happens.
So then what?
Sometimes the comment is “Well, just get over it.” Sometimes it is just that easy.
But often it’s not.
When the wound goes deep into the soul…when one’s hurt is dismissed…when one is made to feel “less than” because of what someone has said…it’s a far more complicated and lengthy process. And even if one is able to find healing, there is still a scar.
One is fortunate if they are blessed with someone who is willing to be present through the journey towards healing. I have been.
I went through a very difficult time when my concerns were dismissed…actions and statements made that cut deeply…and I was left wondering if I even belonged in the faith tradition I had spent my whole life in–and was very involved with. I was blessed by someone who expressed concern every time we met…who did not let me hide behind the mask that I presented to everyone else. I did not see her all that often, but every time I did, I knew that she heard and cared–really cared.
And her presence–her “being with”–pulled me through.
It bothers me when someone is hurt–and those who did the wounding, even unintentionally, dismiss the pain.
We often think that it’s the responsibility of the person who is hurting to make the first move. Again, sometimes that can happen. But for those of us who follow the one we call Jesus, we are called to behave differently. The modern translation The Message puts it this way in Matthew 5:23-24:
If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.
Even if I think I did nothing wrong, if I’m aware that there is a division between me and someone else, it’s my responsibility to try to make things right. Not always easy–in fact, often not easy because it goes against common behavior.
But if we want to be healers, then we are called to recognize the power of words to wound, but more importantly, to heal.