Tough love is comparatively easy to talk about…when it’s in the abstract…or when it applies to someone else’s family.
But when it’s your own, it’s one of the hardest things to do.
I wrote my last post with some hope and optimism that we were finally on the right road. But late that afternoon we had what I hoped was just a misstep/blip on the road–but which (the next day) turned into a U-turn.
As parents and grandparents we want so badly to shield our children…to protect them…to make everything turn out right. That’s not always possible.
Some children seem very willing to learn things based on the experiences of others. They may have to stumble occasionally, but they’re relatively minor falls that can be made better with a kiss and a hug.
Others seem hardwired to have to hit bottom before they learn…to experience life the hard way before the message gets through. While I love all my children and grandchildren, these are the ones my heart aches for. Sometimes the hitting bottom ends up being fatal–and their death leaves a hole in your heart that can never be filled. It can heal…but there is still a hole.
So when you see another one heading the same direction, your heart aches…and you hope and pray that they will “get it” before it is fatal.
Sometimes in order to help, you have to force yourself to say “no” when your heart is screaming at you to say “yes.” But it’s precisely because you love them so much that you are willing to do the hard work of saying “no”–and hoping that one day they will understand.
So…to my precious grandchild–I still love you…there is nothing you can do that will keep me from loving you. I am holding you in the light of my love and God’s love, sending you all the strength I can…and praying that before it is too late you will learn how to make wise choices and become the awesome person you can be.