There’s a scripture that’s been resonating with me the last couple of days. It’s from the Gospel of John–found only there.
The disciples–not just the Twelve, but all of Jesus’ followers–have been struggling with some of Jesus’ sayings. Specifically his claim to be the Bread of Life and the way in John in which he seems to establish the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper. Many of the disciples have found it to be a hard teaching and have difficulty understanding it.
Because it is so hard, many of the disciples turn back from following Jesus–leaving him and his call to them.
Jesus is disappointed (reading between the lines) but then turns to the twelve who are his closest followers and asks them if they want to leave him as well. Peter–the impetuous one–seems to speak for all of them when he says ” “Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. We’ve already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God.” (The Message – John 6:61-69)
That’s the question that keeps coming to my mind.
There are some difficult issues in my faith denomination that we are trying to figure out how to deal with. Quite frankly, I don’t think we’re making wise decisions at all. It feels like we’re stalling…hoping that the issues (and the individuals who put faces on them) will just quietly go away. Some will, and I can’t blame them.
I’ve thought about it. But the question that keeps coming to my mind is Peter’s question: “Where would I go?”
This is the faith tradition that I grew up in…but more than that, it’s the one I have felt called to. And as much as I’m struggling–and hurting–I haven’t yet sensed God calling me anywhere else.
So I guess I’m stuck…or maybe my faith tradition is stuck with me. And if that’s the way it is, then maybe part of my call is to be a questioner…a challenger who wants us to live out what we say we believe.
It’s not easy…but at this point I don’t know where else to go.