Que sera, sera

Many years ago, I remember hearing Doris Day sing “Que sera, sera”…

In some ways it’s kind of superficial, and yet there’s also some profound wisdom in the words of the song: “Whatever will be, will be…the future’s not ours to see.”

We do have some responsibility in helping to shape that future by the decisions that we make. They impact our lives in significant ways–the choices we make about behaviors…who we will marry…where we might choose to live…the job(s) we are interested in.

And yet we cannot determine our future. I’m reminded of a saying I see periodically: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” And another saying: “Life is what happens when you are making plans.”

I’ve been reminded of this recently as I’ve been dealing with some mobility issues related to my MS. The first ten years I dealt with it were not good–I spent more time in the hospital than I care to remember, getting IVs of ACTH. Then I’ve had 25 good years–occasional flare-ups, but nothing major. Currently I’m dealing with some mobility issues related to a “bug” I picked up a couple of weeks ago…

And I’ve rather blithely said, “Whatever happens, happens. I’ve had 25 good years…if this is what I have to deal with now, then I’ll be grateful for the 25 years–and will live with what is.” I do mean it–but I’m realizing that it’s also easy to mean it when you still have hopes (and expectations) that things will go back to the way they were. I’m still hoping that. But this is also lasting longer than I expected it to, and so I’m beginning to wonder if this is the new “normal.”

 If so, then the wisdom in the song is worth paying attention to. I can’t change the future and set it in concrete to play out as I want it to. I can make choices to help create the best future possible–but because I don’t live in isolation, the actions of other people and the environment I live in will also impact that future. Sometimes I think it’s a good thing we can’t see our futures–we might not want to go there…but living them day by day is possible. We learn to live with what is–and appreciate the good times.

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