Waiting is over…

As the week has gone on, I acknowledged to myself that the odds were that the position was going to go to someone else. At one point in my life, that would have been devastating…now I just wanted to know so that I could see where my focus needed to be.

This morning I found out. Our HR director and the building director came down to my office to give me the news that they had offered the position to another candidate.

I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m really somewhat relieved. There were many things in that position that I would have enjoyed…but it would have carried with it quite a bit more stress, and there were a couple of areas of responsibility that I had some hesitations about, given some health issues I have. I knew going into the interview that those might be deal-breakers–and they were strong factors.

But what I most appreciated about this morning was the pastoral sensitivity in the visit. I have not always experienced that–even in the past few years as I have worked for my denomination–and to be so strongly affirmed as I was in this visit was a true blessing.

In fact, what may very well have been the most important aspects of this part of my journey deal with having taken part in the process.

It helped me work through some “stuff” from the last few years that I had not yet been willing to let go of…but that I had to make a conscious decision to release in order to be comfortable with applying for the position.

And there was some healing of relationships and some new understandings as I made myself vulnerable in the interview…”aha” moments for some folks I work with in helping them know why I sometimes react the way I do.

So this part of the journey ends…and yet it is also a new beginning. And I look forward to seeing where the road leads now!